Book Review: Friends, Lovers, and the Big Terrible Thing by Matthew Perry

“…there is light in the darkness. It’s there—you just have to look hard enough for it.”

Matthew Perry, Friends, Lovers, and the Big Terrible Thing

Review:

I hate myself for not reading this before Matthew Perry’s passing. Friends has been a part of my life since I was a little kid and I’ve always been fond of Matthew Perry’s humor, making Chandler my absolute favorite character on the show (and one of my favorite television characters in general). I was interested to know more about his life and his struggles with addiction and I regret that I put it off until after he was gone. 

In the book, Matthew Perry discusses his childhood, career, and of course, some memories from his work on Friends, but the constant themes woven throughout the different times of his life are mental health struggles and his fight with addiction. The writing is witty (which is not surprising) but also personal and simply profound at times. It feels personal and authentic. 

As for the structure of the book itself? It’s rough. If it were anyone besides Matthew Perry, I would have been much more persnickety. Given the content of the book though and what his body and mind have been through, it added to what was being said in a way. I’ll take an unpolished and personable over robotic and people-pleasing. 

My heart absolutely breaks for him and all that he went through. Even though he is no longer with us, it was still inspiring to read, and I hoped when he passed that he was not in pain. Maybe my rating is biased but I don’t particularly care if it is. I’m confident that my reaction to the book would have been the same if I had read it when it came out aside from the obvious mentions of mortality. 

Likes & Dislikes:

What I liked:

• Even though I do not share his struggle with addiction, it was told in a relatable way that I could connect with. In turn, it was eye-opening.
• Surprisingly spiritual.
• It truly was a memoir and not a platform for politics.

What I didn’t like:

• Very disorganized and repetitive.

Afterthoughts:

Though I still regret not reading this any of the dozen times I picked up the book since its release, I guess the timing was right now. It was a bittersweet book to be my final read of 2023.

At somepoint, I may try listening to the audiobook, but I wasn’t ready for that yet.

Where to buy the book: